Dance with Me

Good morning from West Palm Beach,

Drinking coffee in bed and thinking away. This blog isn’t meant to be advice—it’s more of a journal really. I take some time on Sunday mornings to reflect and share when I feel like it. Recently, I’ve felt like sharing, so here we are.

This week, I found myself in resistance to what was happening in my own life. I’m very concerned with outcomes (and I don’t think I’m alone in this), which leads to a bit of analysis paralysis. Will this work out? Is this the best course of action? WHAT WILL HAPPEN and also WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?

Stress is a simple concept—we don’t like what’s happening, and we resist it in a variety of ways. There’s a quote from Byron Katie: “When you argue with reality, you lose. But only 100% of the time.“

I’ve read enough self-help at this point to know it’s not as simple as “letting go.” It’s definitely not our default wiring to be in a flow state, and forcing a flow state is, well, the opposite of flow. So when we’re having a hard time with reality, what can we really do?

Get back to me if you find out.

Just kidding—here’s what I’ve found: ruminating and chatting with trusted people helps… to a point. Naming what you’re actually feeling helps too: “I’m just pretty uncomfortable with this.” After a while, my ruminating leads me to believe I can control the outcome, as if talking about it will make it go my way. But it might not, so instead, I’ve accepted that I just don’t know, and that’s okay.

…and let’s be honest – I’m definitely going to need this reminder again. Probably next week. Actually, probably tomorrow.  I’ll be back in it, trying to control everything, forgetting all about this moment of clarity.

But maybe that’s also fine? Maybe the point isn’t to master this whole “accepting uncertainty” thing once and for all, but to dance with it. Catching yourself a little quicker each time, “oh right, here I am again, doing that thing I do.”

Until next Sunday’s coffee thoughts…

Be well and much love!