This is a blog about gratitude. The title is an Entourage quote.
Let me explain. I was reflecting on how I never liked being told to be grateful. In my head I would always roll my eyes and think: “I am grateful!” Enter the image of Vincent Chase turning slowly in the rain…”I am Queens Boulevard.”
Anyways, yes gratitude, I’ve never liked the word.
It irritates me for many reasons.
One: The people who are sharing this advice are often pandering about what having gratitude can “get” you.
Two: It reminds me of my early Catholic school programming where gratitude was used to guilt and shame children who were trying to find and express their voice.
“I don’t care if you don’t understand, be grateful I’m even teaching you!” – Direct quote from my second grade teacher, probably.
Three: Just mind your own business? I don’t even like you.
Despite this frustration, I still gave a gratitude practice a go for some time. I bought the journal and tried to remember to be thankful each day. This usually resulted in me berating me for not being thankful “enough” each day. Or sad that all that I could think to be thankful for was coffee and my bed…
I’ll skip my ah-ha realization moment and get to it: THIS IS NOT THE POINT.
A self help tool/instruction that only leaves you feeling worse is not the way. It took me some time to realize that gratitude is not something you do, it is something you feel.
And this can be expressed in many ways. Being present and enjoying the world around you is an act of gratitude. Laughing with a friend, feeling engaged in a new a book you’re reading or yes enjoying that cup of coffee are all ways we actively express our appreciation.
The point of recalling these moments at the end or beginning of a day is to redevelop the positive feelings, which helps us to rewire our organically negative disposition. (We are more inclined towards negative, this is science, there’s a study somewhere… 🙂 )
If you don’t feel it don’t force it. And if all you have is coffee, it still works. Most importantly, the next time someone tells you to be grateful, remember that you are Queens Boulevard. 😉
Comments will load here